To be loved before we love........

Aroused by the great fear
i look behind the the black cloud
storm thunders in my ear
shrieks the nasty bird flowing by
tinkles the river flying towards the earth
the blue mountains smiles from the clouds above
am i still gazing at the mirror?


Smile catches the fancy of my horror
faith in humanity curbs
the rotten beliefs of almighty
still struggles to find
the true identity


everything appears to be alright
and we strive all our lives
for the fortune we bring to the dead
our body leaves for hell
and soul refuses to live ahead


how would it be
to find the last before the first
to achieve before we try
to win before we loose
to be right before we are wrong
to smile before we cry
to be loved before we love........

In the lap of nature....

Wants to fly,

to a different land…

where the world ends,

at the start of a land

water falls,

from the eye of a cloud

birds fly ,

on the stage of leaves

and I stand,

breathing the purity of my flesh….

Is it the rain

Which still pours beneath my fingertips?

Or my inner self being burnt in d sunlight

Is that the world looks more beautiful?

Or my eyes are being washed away with a few drops

my ears could hear the fluttering of leaves

a sweet humming wind or a storm of weeds…

this chaos is more beautiful

than our parallel running lives

it reminds me yet again

I am still alive!

Again it rains...

It rains as to cleanse my soul

The dirt on my heart is fleshed out

Clear all the grudges of my own

Relieving the memoirs of the past

It seems to dissect the losses of the lost

When I thought I am left alone

In a chamber filled of the ghostly eyes

It rains to soothe my inwardly sight

It gives me strength to stand on the mud

And slips when there is no one to clung

The droplets move inside my dress

Blossom the inward self I possess

I move towards the new path of life

Somebody holding me just too tight!

A wave of thunder rushed below my feet

I want this to behest me

 Forever I may need,

The rains make me understand

The purest being I was, when innocent

It shines on my eyes like the first dew

The new bride I am beginning to be

This monsoon I want to cry,

Cry to be able to laugh again……

It happens only once...

Once upon a time
something weird happened to me
my peers got worried
parents sent me for a check
the whole universe sparkled at my gaze
flowers blossomed at my touch
it rained throughout the day
n cool winds shrugged my hair
it happened just d other day
when i felt his warmth
when he kneeled at my behest
d want to conquer d world
not to let go of dis moment forver
and my gaze to only follow his's!


is it d world's only happiness
or lost self originating again
d beginning of a new life
where m possessed by his sight!

Coz life goes on....

As I start to walk again

I look behind at the shattered pages

a minute of ash besides them

Wrapped in the love of soil

Some black numbers I couldn’t read

A few scribbled names too

Coloured with different moments

Fall grey on the carpet of weed

Some thorns with d cotton touch

Lie above the skin of earth

Lily’s tend to confuse me more

Is this death or a new life further?

As I again step ahead

I realize it’s not everything I beheld….

when life takes a turn....

It rained all night and i could not move my sight. It had this beautiful feeling of being in your arms and looking out at the sleepless stars, water dripping from the drenched leaves and i was lost in my dreams. It was a long unusual night, nobody to disturb us and nowhere to run, everything came to a halt. Sometimes you wish that you can capture a moment and keep it forever with you but your destiny cannot be rewritten.

As i move ahead
i see an unusual being
i see another me
i wish to stop myself
i wish to keep dis forever
i wish not to grow ever...

changing hormones tell u a story
innocence is gone
and its time to move on
here i am standing in mid
thinking about my life
and confused a bit...

lost control over my life
my knuckles turn white
if i touch ur losing sight
dis feeling of being loved
creats an illusive world
a happy home there i make
with u by my side
need no one to felicitate...

Now here i stand looking again at the outside world. Amidst all the chaos i have a life which is more chaotic and abrupt than the whole universe. Still i try to find solace in my being, in the moment where i am staying. Love certainly makes you feel better (like a drug keeps you on a high), but is this what i always wanted??? As confused you could be more practical your life would be... Now, dont blame me for your wrong, i am just a human making my efforts to overcome the lost battle which i had won!!!

D way u look at it...

I read n read
d untorn pages
where life resided
through your eyes
it seemed beautiful
i experienced
a whole new sight....

it blinkd in between
n u asked me to wait
dere was blood
n troops finding there way
cries evrywhere around me
no where to run safe

cut to the throat
i strangled in fear
tears fallin on my hands
sweat rested on cheeks
pushed from all sides
i struggled to breathe...

birds singing by
trees fluttering high
butterflies suddenly
came to meet me
transferred into the world of trance
i forgot d pleasure of earth...

surprised at my own form
god left me alone to sworn
d beauty lies not around you
indeed its between ur human heart
every black falls flat on white
d world is wrong but u have to stand right

i knw y u went away
left me to study alone
ur eyes were there but
exprience was my own
i read n read
d untorn pages
where now, my life resides...

Sussana's 7 husbands - Watch it from my eyes

7 Khoon Maaf... well, i was wondering why 7 and not 6 or 8? Whatever, i think Vishal did not have any intentions of changing the no. (Even that he copied from Ruskin Bond). Though i really respect Vishal as a Music Director - Director, he has always gone a mile ahead to prove his capabilities and has shown his characters in a totally new, improved manner and more so as actors rather than just stars.

Priyanka Chopra was at her best in this movie, i am sure she would have already bought a rack for her awards. And if we talk about her seven husbands, Naseer saab, Anu Kapoor and Irrfan Khan are veterans in this profession so it was obvious to see that power of excellence but what amazed me was Neil Nitin Mukesh. Definitely, Vishal had worked brilliantly on his character and provided him with shades of grey; on the other hand, Neil did prove himself as an insecure MCP. Though i always thought John character could have been better, what a waste he was in this movie... n i even cried out saying O MAMMMAAAAAAA!!

Vivaan Shah was a surprise package; he was all there throughout the movie and proved his genes of acting. Even my inside girl kept on saying, "He looks cute!”. And then there was the brain behind this whole drama Mr.Ruskin Bond who made an unexpected and mysterious entry towards the end. I think he was there more to oblige to Vishal and definitely not to miss the chance of kissing somebody like Piggy Chops (n I wonder how many takes and re-takes would have been taken, isshhh).

 Well, Vishal Bhardwaj has got that streak of perfectionism and innovation in himself that one can observe in his movies starting from the music he gave for Maachis and then moving on to Maqbool, Omkara and so forth. Even here, he tried making 7 khoon maaf as realistic as possible and eventually it even looked like. Believe me everybody after watching this movie would move out with a big question mark on their forehead, though the questions can wary depending upon the gender.

Everytime i feel...

Everytime i feel
this pain is not enough
there shud be more worse to it
something to tear off my flesh
n add a pinch of salt to meat

d fire in me is blazing high
burnin d inner self inside
cut to the throat n eyes left to play'
slowly my wretched soul hears
d words of disgrace

left at the altar
m singing the songs of love
my enchanted self struggle to listen
d whisper of the night(ing) gale
sabotaged completely i sit beneath d fluttering leaves
waiting for my time to rise
heard somebody sayin'.... Godot is yet to arrive!

If only....

if only i could say
i open my eyes to see something i know i cant see
my ears listen to the unheard voice of the unseen
i feel a touch which shiver my soul
my body still smells the same you left
if only you can hear my voice
your name is echoed everywhere
if only you can see me smile
i have cried alot many times........

my long for the brewing love
has got me clustererd into my cell
d more i want to move ahead
it makes me more lean back

my hands still feel the warmth of your touch
i cud still sense the lost love
was it suppose to end lyk dis
i waited long enough to cut off the barriers
my wait for you have come to a halt
d whole world stopped me from running into your arms...

y i still want to get hurt?
y my life gets stuck?
y the world ends at your name?
if its mad to be in love
i am happy to fall again....

A new start with an unsolved puzzle... a common story

People say u shud start writing a blog... I wonder how it helps to share your views with some unknown beings on this planet and get affected by their thoughts in turn. Well with due respect, i welcome your comments and hope to make sense through my insane words wid each coming day...

This is a story about girl who fell awkwardely in love, lost her connect with the world and now cries deep inside to combat that passion of her heart which refuses to accept her false art. She knew she would someday make her heart agree to the fact that he is the man she has always been waiting through out her life. No more crushes, no more flings n it wud be just 1 man whom she wud adore all her life. But wasn't this the same as she always thought when she was with Varun, prior to him with Ajay, and before that with Maneesh. "No, i know he love me and this time it is final. I have to get ready and meet him @ 6", she decided and started looking for a perfect dress to wear this evening. It was not her first date but still she was very upbeat about meeting Akash.

"You look gorgeous, you know Mria i always thought that i can't be with anybody forever but you gave my life a new dimension", Akash bent down and kissed her hand. A wave rushed through her body and she felt like never before. But what was he talking about? He is my boy friend, he has to be with me forever. Did he try and also hit on other girls? Mria had lots of questions popping into her mind. Then she thought of asking one, "Akash, can i ask you something" said Mrinalini. "Ofcourse, tell me" Akash replied. "Will you always love me the same way as you do now?" looking into his eyes she definitely was not expecting what came her way. "If you would always be mine i would be the best guy forever", now this was pathetic.

Akash was not the first guy she had met, there had been more earlier. Some truely loved her and a few she was kicked about, but then she never felt the same about them. But one thing which was common amongst every guy was there basic nature. They always wanted to pack her and keep her with them forever. Their male ego which had always been larger than life was another common trait. Even Akash was no other guy, he also wanted the same but never exactly told her. He had taken her for granted and was sure about her feelings, but probably forgot a statement that "Beautiful girls are the most untruthful beings". Yes, this may be hurting to a few but a fact.

The same story continue in everybody's life but ends on a different note. Mria and Akash can be generalised ( as per me) because every girl looks out for a perfect guy and every guy is selfish about himself. The end perhaps can be embided by your own experiences and life, which i doubt could be justified by me!